A Loss Keenly Felt
by CaedmonCousland
Summary: Revived or not, Shepard's death had lasting consequences. It's too easy to forget that those close to him spent two years trying to recover from the hole he left in their lives. In some cases, doing so would form a hole in Shepard's life. Male Shepard and Sara Ryder pairing.


**Really didn't plan this story, which is unlike me in that I typically spend so much time planning stories, writing outlines and alternate histories, that I typically lose interest before even publishing. However it came to me, it was a brief little ficlet that I could do in only a few hours, and wasn't serious enough that I really needed to plan it out. With Mass Effect: Andromeda material still new, figured I might as well throw in this idea.**

 **However I did have to alter Sara Ryder's age for what I had planned since she's apparently twenty-two. So Sara was born in 2160 instead of 2163 here. Still a bit young, but plausible enough for my plan.**

* * *

Sara couldn't look away from the view the window offered. Earth. Sara hadn't ever been one of those people that were particularly entranced by the sight of Earth from space, babbling on about it somehow being more than what it was. She'd seen plenty of beautiful planets. Earth was symbolic, sure, but not truthfully anything special.

Yet now, in this moment, it was more beautiful than any other time she had seen it.

Her ruminations were interrupted by a hand on her shoulder and her brother's voice asking, "You okay, Sis?"

Sara turned with a small smile to face her brother as she said hesitantly, "Yeah, I guess the gravity of what we're doing just hit me now that it's here."

"This is no time for last minute nerves. Too much has happened leading up to this point to back out now," a gruff voice spoke up.

Sara grimaced a slight bit before wiping her face blank as she turned towards the speaker. Unlike Scott, her father had remained leaning against the wall on the opposite side of the shuttle compartment they occupied. That was expected though. Her father had always indifferently kept a professional distance from the rest of the family, and that had only gotten worse after her mother died.

"It's not that, Dad. It's just…a lot to think about," Sara said stiffly.

Her father didn't get to respond before a childish voice declared from near her hip, "Then stop thinking about it, Mommy. It's making you sad."

Sara couldn't help the loving smile from appearing on her face as she looked down. The chubby face of her four, almost five, year old daughter greeted her. Immediately bending down and picking her up, she said in a doting voice, "Why didn't I think of that? Maybe it's just because you are so smart, Aela."

Aela just giggled happily at the praise before burying her face in Sara's shoulder.

"You don't need to worry, Sara. I'm sure Shepard would agree you're making the right choice," her father said as he approached, his voice softer than usual. It had become clear by this point that her father doted on his first grandchild. The change in his demeanor whenever he focused on her was apparent to anyone who knew him. Sara only had a few brief memories of him behaving in half as affectionate a manner throughout her life, and while she knew he loved her and Scott she was glad he seemed more willing and able to showcase it in regards to Aela.

Unfortunately, his words drew back out the worry in her chest. She looked away as she replied, "He never wanted this. Yet now that he's gone…here I am."

"He was a soldier, and an open-minded man. He would have understood the necessity," her father insisted.

Sara just looked back out the window at the shrinking view of Earth. Her worry drew its source from the memory of Aela's father, John Shepard. The backstory on how she ended up with a child and married to Commander Shepard, who always seemed more god than man, was a long story.

She'd met him in 2176, when she was sixteen and he'd just become a hero by leading the defense of Elysium during the Skyllian Blitz. You couldn't turn on the news without seeing his face or hearing about him for a month afterwards. Her father had still been semi-respected at the time, and they're living at Arcturus Station meant it had been easy to see him at the numerous award ceremonies that were conducted in his honor afterwards. Sara wasn't ashamed to admit she'd been smitten. Not that it was saying much. Tall, strong, handsome, and charismatic, it was hard for someone not be enraptured with the future legend.

He'd then become a teacher at the newly established Ascension Project. Arguably the strongest biotic available to the Alliance, Shepard had been made a military consultant of the biotic classes for the next two years. Or at least, when he was there. He'd frequently disappeared for a time undergoing Special Forces missions as he broke records while rising through the N-ranks, and although they never learned the details of those assignments most of the students enjoyed making rumors regarding them. The two had never approached anything closer than student and teacher at the time though.

Sara had of course joined the Alliance when she turned eighteen. Despite her father's faltering reputation, the pre-enlistment officer training classes she'd taken, her biotic abilities, and the unofficial training her N7 father gave her growing up had allowed Sara to have a bright start in the Alliance. She'd been assigned guard duty of prothean researchers, and had more than a few good times and fights during that tour.

Unfortunately, her father's reputation crashed in 2179 as he continued his personal studies into artificial intelligences and neural interfaces after numerous warning to stop. Sara found herself all but blacklisted for her relation to him. She found herself given a desk job on Arcturus Station, with a rather unsubtle warning that she wouldn't be able to advance further.

It was there the nineteen year old Sara met with Shepard again. Now a full N7 operative, he was frequently on serve leave there between the almost constant barrages of important operations. He'd checked in as a former teacher, and they'd frequently met up afterwards. While he hadn't been able to do anything regarding her blacklisting, not having enough influence with the higher up despite being the golden boy of the Alliance, he'd proved a remarkably supportive friend during the rough point in her life when she really needed one. It really wasn't a surprise that her nearly forgotten childish crush had returned with a vengeance. She'd actually asked him out.

He'd been…reluctant. Not out of lack of interest, but a general awkwardness regarding romance. Shepard had grown up an orphan in Dublin, largely growing up on the streets after his emerging biotic powers made him a freak and biotic at the orphanage. He didn't even have a full name, only being 'Shepard' for his entire childhood. He eventually just took the basic name 'John' after deciding his name sounded better as a last name. He joined a gang before managing to gain access to the colonization drive for Mindoir when he was fifteen. Mindoir had then been attacked by batarian slavers a year later, with Shepard being among the survivors that only numbered in the double digits.

Honestly, it was a miracle he ended up as well adjusted as he had. He fully understood, and even prioritized, the value of comrades, friends, and general empathy. The natural charm and instinctive charisma he had in social settings disguised it so well, but Sara eventually learned he had one social blind spot. Family. Rather obvious when one thought about it, Shepard had grown up in a situation where he had nothing that even resembled an actual family and had been forced to accept that for the sake of survival. Having or attempting to make a family had been an utterly foreign concept to him by this point in time. Her suggestion of entering a serious relationship had turned the normally unflappable man into a skittish deer warily watching a wolf.

…Sara couldn't deny she gained a bit of perverse satisfaction in being the wolf during the chase.

And what a chase it had been. She had been dealt a number of rejections, and frequently felt sorry for Shepard due to the awkwardness the entire affair inspired in him. She succeeded though after several months of aggressive courting…and a growing regularity in casual sex between the two. While she'd never tell her family about it, she hadn't hesitated to use her sexuality as another weapon in her fight. Shy regarding romantic intimacy or not, Shepard had clearly been more open and experienced in matters of physical intimacy.

It was a good thing he'd given in and was doing his best to handle a real relationship as it was only a month later she'd discovered she was pregnant.

Seems the reckless sex she'd used before had its own consequences.

Aela had been born in March of 2180. She definitely took more after Shepard than Sara. While even now it was impossible to tell her features till she grew older, coloring wise she took entirely after her father. She had Shepard's auburn red hair, deep green eyes, and fair skin over Sara's brown hair, blue eyes, and olive skin tone. Sara had been a bit put out her daughter didn't seem to take after her, but now, with what happened, she was happy Aela seemed to be her father's daughter.

Aela's birth had also really solidified her relationship with Shepard. While Shepard had been teetering on the edge of an emotional breakdown for the duration of her pregnancy, the sheer love he'd had for Aela from the moment he held her was undeniable. They became a family after this. While her family hadn't exactly been thrilled about her becoming a mother at twenty, they'd loved Aela and accepted Shepard eventually. Although Scott told far, far too many jokes about her basically being Shepard's groupie. The two officially married two years after Aela's birth, having been delayed by how frequently Shepard had been called away by his duties.

Sara herself had found herself a fulltime mother, only serving as a consultant for the Andromeda Initiative. The fraternization that characterized her relationship with Shepard had ended her Alliance career. Too many people in the Alliance had jumped at the opportunity to end the career of Alec Ryder's daughter. No doubt more than a few would have made a big affair of it to try and indirectly hurt her dad, but Shepard's status as the Alliance's golden boy helped. They couldn't ruin her reputation without also tarnishing his, being just as guilty of fraternization. So instead she was quietly discharged with as little fanfare and attention as possible. Her father had then gotten her the consultant job at the Andromeda Initiative for whatever free time she had between raising Aela.

"Aela, why don't you talk a bit with your Uncle Scott for a bit?" Sara suggested before handing her daughter over to the surprised Scott.

Aela, being a typical energetic four year old, was all too happy to comply. Throwing her arms around his neck to latch on, she quickly started speaking to him in her current lisp. Scott was helpless before the assault, and only sent her a rebuking look before trying futilely to calm Aela down. This allowed Sara to lead her father to the opposite end of the compartment to talk frankly without Aela overhearing.

Her father surprised her by speaking first by commenting, "Aela seems to be doing well."

Sara smiled sadly as she informed him, "She is. She's too young to understand the concept of death, but smart enough to remember his behavior. His work always took him away, but he'd always try to make it up to her when he was around. She got used to that. Even now she expects him to show up one day, ready to spoil her for the next few weeks with toys, ice cream, and bedtime stories. I've told her, but in her mind he'll always return. She just has to wait."

"If only he could, but even with Shepard's penchant for pulling off miracles the odds aren't good," her father commented with a chuckle. It was a brief moment of levity. Her eyes hardened as he looked at her and said, "At least we can make sure Aela to one day understand how much he loved her, and Andromeda offers the best chance of us and her one day reaching that day."

"I really am not so sure about that, Dad. He wanted to provide Aela the sort of safe environment and certain future he never had. Andromeda provides neither of those. Even I'm not sure this is the best thing for Aela," Sara pointed out.

Sara had fit with the Andromeda Initiative from the beginning. Motherhood had given Sara the sort of self-understanding she'd lacked before. The acknowledgement of certain aspects of herself she'd ignored before. Some of which were that she was both an explorer and a bit of an adrenaline junkie. When the Alliance no longer providing the opportunities she'd wanted, what had she done but started pursuing a celebrity that she found herself fascinated with. And while she loved Aela with all her heart, the part of her that was still a young woman desired that same excitement. Sara had never wanted to be the type of woman who stayed at home raising children while her husband went on adventures and made a difference. The Andromeda Initiative was her chance to have that, where her dad's work was valued and far from the influence of the Alliance.

Unsurprisingly, Shepard thought differently. While with little problem regarding the Andromeda Initiative, neither did he feel any desire to join it. Shepard was satisfied with his life in the Milky Way. He was semi-famous, valued by the Alliance, and made a difference. For an orphan from nothing, he had built a great life. One didn't spend years doing that only to abandon it to go to another galaxy.

Also while he had been understanding of her reasons for wanting to go, he'd been vehemently opposed to Aela's going. Too much risk, he said. No matter the preparations taken, there were still too many things that could go wrong. The arks could fail in the 600 year long journey, dooming everyone aboard to death, the navigation systems could fail, ensuring the ships never arrived at their destination, native aliens could take offense to their intrusion in their galaxy, and either attack or refuse them worlds to colonize, etc. It was one thing for adults who knew the risk to go, but to take a child?

Eventually Sara had been forced to concede that point. Risking Aela was too much for her. With Shepard uninterested and not willing to risk Aela, Sara wasn't left much of a choice. While both her father and Scott were fully committed to going, Sara couldn't and wouldn't abandon her husband and daughter for her own selfish desires. The Andromeda Initiative simply didn't fit with the reality of her situation.

At the time.

"The Milky Way no longer provides those things either," her father retorted. "If Shepard was right about the Reapers…Andromeda might be the only chance our races have for long term survival."

Sara felt her body tighten at the reminder of the impending galactic threat.

Sara hadn't been too thrilled when Shepard was nominated and later became a Spectre. Honor or not, spectres were at great risk. Too much responsibility, pressure from the Council, and fear regarding their unaccountability. Few spectres lived long enough to retire, and they were never able to leave that life behind entirely. Not that there was much she could have done. It had just happened so fast. Shepard was called away for a new post on the SSV Normandy, and then Eden Prime was attacked and humanity was at war with the geth. Days later, he was a spectre on a top secret mission. While Shepard had always done his best to stay in touch, he hadn't been able to give her information on what exactly was going on. Then the Battle of the Citadel occurred, humanity gained a Council seat, and Shepard was suddenly a hero to the entire galaxy.

Finally Shepard managed to sit her down and tell her all about what happened. About Saren…and the Reapers.

Sara had been terrified. She knew how to fight. She grew up in a military family, and her father had both been on the first ship through the Charon Relay and fought in the First Contact War. Yet the Reapers were several degrees of magnitude above anything she had ever contemplated before. A hyper advanced race of machines who allow organic races to advance, indirectly guide the development of their civilizations, and then swoop in to violently and systematically wipe them out. It was a genuine doomsday scenario.

Seemingly deciding she needed an additional push, her father continued grimly but determinedly, "Shepard was a great man…but he's gone. He can't protect you or Aela anymore. That's up to us now, and we need to make our decisions based on our current situation. You and Aela are facing threats Shepard didn't know about and couldn't have predicted. You can't hold yourself back on his account."

"How can I not?" Sara immediately cried, hugging her arms around herself as she lowered her head and felt tears welling up. "How can I move on, leaving him behind? It doesn't work like that! I would think you of all people would know that."

Everything changed after Shepard died.

It was truly shocking how quickly so many people turned face completely regarding her husband. Shepard had always been an unstoppable force, everyone knew that and subsequently made sure to not be in his way. Even when Shepard started speaking after the Battle of the Citadel about the Reapers, people had been forced to listen and consider his words simply by his sheer force of will. Yet when he died and that _presence_ was lost, it all fell apart. The Council waved off the Reaper threat as a trick of Saren, and even people within the Alliance started deriding Shepard as having become imbalanced by all that happened. Those who believed Shepard about the Reapers, like Captain, now Councilor, Anderson and Admiral Hackett were forced to lay low to keep their standing and influence regarding the now poisonous topic.

For Sara and Aela, his death and postmortem shaming caused serious ramifications beyond the personal torment his loss caused them. People with a grudge against Shepard but too afraid to act when he lived found courage to enact revenge. Now connected to two disgraced N7 soldiers, Aela found few friends to rely on and little professional assistance from the Alliance. The marital and family status of N7 was classified information, and when it got out with more public N7 figures like Shepard the Alliance did its best to ensure the safety of the families of their operatives. That protection suddenly became rather…incomplete, after Shepard's death. Enough so that several, unaligned attempts on her and Aela occurred. Once by batarians and another by human operatives later identified as Cerberus members attempted to abduct them. Thankfully the former didn't expect her to be able to resist, and the latter hadn't expected a spontaneous visit from her father. The Alliance apologized and promised to increase the watch, but she still felt it necessary to move in with her father. A good move as Cerberus made a second attempt, once again unhindered by the Alliance watch. This time only the unexpected assistance of SAM saved them.

The worst was the final and most recent attempt though. Sara at least understood the motivation of the batarians and Cerberus. The batarians were obvious, and Shepard apparently took out a few cells of the pro-human group during his hunt for Saren. They were threats Sara comprehended, both as an intelligent woman and as former military. The last threat was beyond her comprehension.

The Collectors. Human colonies had recently started going missing, but the culprits somehow went unknown. Pirates and slavers were blamed by almost everyone. However they learned definitively of the Collectors being responsible when they attacked Illium, where Sara had been staying with her father, with half a dozen cruisers. Lack of regulation had made it less hostile to her father over his research, and he had enough money to wave around to help from his work for the Initiative. The Collectors avoided the major cities in favor of landing in the vicinity of where they'd been staying, but hadn't hesitated from destroying three dozen frigates and seven cruisers of the Illium defense forces before landing. After freezing everyone with their bug things, they ignored the bodies in favor of going straight to their place. Only an emergency escape tunnel, her father's fighting skills, and SAM allowed them to survive long enough till reinforcements arrived led by Liara, who had become a rather successful information broker, saved them. The Collectors then left, escaping pursuit by over a hundred ships.

It had utterly shaken Sara. The only logical explanation for their attack had been her and/or Aela. The second Cerberus attempt had leaked and been on the Ilium news a week before. It was the first time their location had been leaked since leaving Arcturus Station. The Collectors had blatantly gone out of their way and exposed themselves to attack a major world just to get them. It got worse after Joker confirmed the Collector ships as having the profile of the ship that destroyed the Normandy. They killed Shepard by targeting him when he was most vulnerable, in space. Liara even theorized the Collectors only left after that event after confirming his death by spacing, and would have pursued if they'd detected his biometric data in an escape pod. Liara also theorized the Collectors were connected with the Reapers. Now they seemed to be pursuing her or Aela. Why? She had no idea, but the mere evidence of it being true had told Sara one thing.

They were no longer safe. The Reapers were coming to harvest all life in the galaxy, but until they arrived they seemed focused on her and/or Aela with the Collectors acting as their proxy. Sara was not afraid to admit the Reapers were beyond her comprehension, and that thoroughly scared.

It had been her father who convinced her the Andromeda Initiative was her best choice. With the Milky Way threatened by the Reapers then the only way to survive was leave their purview. To leave to Andromeda.

Sara had accepted the logic. Yet suddenly it no longer seemed so clear. It no longer seemed so true.

"Of course I know that, Sara," her father said, unexpectedly hugging her. "Your mother was so much to me. More than she, you, or even I could ever understand. I couldn't imagine the universe without her, and even now there's a hole where she should be. Maybe that's why I want to go to Andromeda. To leave that hole behind."

"Well maybe I don't want to leave that hole behind," Sara immediately retorted, disgusted by the idea.

"You aren't, Sara, but staring at it won't fill it up either. I'm the one running away here. I'm an old dog that can't learn new tricks. You are building something new though, and I'm going to do my best to make it possible for you."

"But so much could go wrong, Dad. We could never arrive. It might not be like what we imagine. What if in trying to save Aela I condemn her? I can't stand the idea of doing that," Sara cried out, openly sobbing now.

Her father looked a bit awkward now, but still plowed on, "I'm not going to say it's going to be alright. I've never lied to you about reality, but I will say we've done everything possible to reduce the risk. The odds of us failing are certainly better than the odds of surviving the Reapers. As for everything else. There will be adversity. Even if everything is as we expected, it will be hard. All things worth doing are, but why should that stop us? Humanity has never backed away from hardship, and our family has never feared adversity. We'll overcome it, and if we can't then Aela will. That girl will do great things…too many good genes to be anything less than magnificent."

That caused Sara to chuckle a bit. She quickly looked over towards where Scott was still struggling to keep up with Aela. Thankfully Aela was too entranced telling some story to Scott to notice her mother crying.

Putting a steady hand on her shoulder, her father asked, "What is this really about? You know all of this as well as I do…Something else is bothering you."

Sara immediately ducked her head again. After several moments of hesitation she choked out, "It's my fault he died."

"No it isn't, Sara. There was nothing you could do," her father immediately reassured.

Sara just shook her head before explaining, "No. It really is…After the Battle of the Citadel, Shepard came back to us. He told me about the Reapers…I panicked, and immediately thought of the Initiative. I tried to convince him to join, but he was determined to stop the Reapers…I got mad. I yelled at him. He tried to calm me down. He wanted to take a few months off to plan and relax before preparing for the Reapers, but I wouldn't listen. We argued." Sara now choked out almost unintelligibly to her quietly listening father, "I told him that he wouldn't even set aside his ego for the sake of our daughter's survival. I threw him out. Told him he'd die a useless death fighting the Reapers and make no difference, and that he should go and do it as I wasn't going sit around waiting for it. Those…were the last words I told him."

Her father now pulled her into a hug so she could cry on his should as she continued, "If I simply listened, believed in him…He wouldn't have been on the Normandy. He'd have been at home, with me and Aela. He'd still be alive."

When faced with the Reapers, Sara and Shepard reacted completely differently. Sara was no coward, but she was also no fighter. Oh, she was a good fighter and didn't shy away from a good fight or possible death. However neither was she a truly exceptional fighter or the type to confidently walk forward even in the face of overwhelming odds. In the face of the Reapers, fleeing had seemed the only option in her mind since it seemed death was the only alternative. Afraid of death she was not, but neither did she see a point in doing something when death was the only possible result.

Shepard…he'd had too much courage, too much empathy, overwhelming fighting abilities, not enough self-preservation instinct, and an almost godlike luck that allowed him to overcome even the worst odds. Shepard hadn't found an obstacle or challenge in his life that proved too high for him to scale or circumvent one way or another. It didn't matter how incomprehensibly great an enemy he found himself facing was. He wanted to create a galaxy Aela could grow up in happy, and the only solution he saw when an enemy threatened that was to defeat the enemy.

She refused to see that. Refused to see all the good in that she'd always acknowledged before. All she saw at the time was a fool too overconfident to acknowledge when he was facing a foe too great for him to overcome.

That refusal set the stage for his death. He died all alone in space, choking for air. The insult of a wife he only wanted support and love from being their last exchange.

How could she ever forget that?!

Ever move past it?!

"I've made more mistakes in my life than you can imagine. I didn't tell your mother I loved her half as much as I should have. I never communicate properly. I get too focused on my work. I didn't raise you or Scott nearly as much as you deserved, and my actions have cost you both far too much," her father started saying slowly, after a good pause to absorb the news of what she told him. "I also wish I could say that you can make up for it or you forget it, but I can't. I've never lied to you. Sometimes our mistakes stay with us forever. They defined us, even many years later. We can however choose how they define us. We can allow them to crush us or we can learn from them. Grow stronger from them. Use them to drive us forward to accomplish more than we would have otherwise. We can build something new. Not as atonement, but because we have used the hardship endured from our mistakes to grow."

Pulling away from the hug, he used a hand to raise her head to look force her to look him in the eyes as he continued with a strength that seemed drawn from something else, "No matter what happened between you two, Shepard loved you and Aela. He wanted to create a future for Aela, and I have not a doubt in my mind, as a father, that efforts by anyone else to do the same would only have inspired happiness and pride in him…We're going to Andromeda, and we're going to build a life there. A home. One where Aela can grow, hopefully one day with cousins and maybe even half siblings. A home, a family, and a future, that's what we're going to give Aela. And don't you dare think for a second that Shepard would have resented a single aspect of that, no matter how we go about it…Now buck up, Sara. You either rise above adversity or crumble beneath it. You have too much to crumble now. Aela needs her mother, and she needs her whole, hearty, and paying attention to the present and working for the future."

Honestly, that might have been the most her father ever talked at a single time. Definitely the most fatherly advice he's ever given her. She really didn't know how to react.

Seemingly understanding her need to be alone, he moved away before calling out, "Scott, we're here. Let's go ahead and give your sister some time with Aela."

"Got it," Scott said, eager to get away from the still talking Aela and seemingly knowing the two just had an emotional conversation. He passed by her, stopping to put a comforting hand on her shoulder before moving on as he said, "We're here for you, Sara. Anytime, anywhere."

Sara simply silently nodded. Once the door closed behind him, her shoulders slumped. As much as the words from her father meant to her, some things couldn't be solved so easily. Some needed time, and for some even time wasn't the answer. Her eyes quickly moved to the view out the opposite window. The Hyperion was in view. The ship that would take them to Andromeda, and they'd be on for the next 600 years.

The time of no return had finally come.

"Mommy, are you okay?"

Sara looked down at where Aela was now tugging on the hem of her shirt. She quickly moved to pick her up, but even Aela wasn't enough to totally pick up her mood. Sara just gave her a sad smile as she told her, "Not so much, Sweetie. Mommy is sad and scared."

Rather than saying anything, Aela simply clasped her hands on Sara's cheeks before leaning forward and kissing her nose. She then hugged around her neck as she said, "It's going to be okay, Mommy. No matter what happens, Daddy and I love you. We'll always be here for you…We'll get through this, together."

Sara gasped at her words.

They were Shepard's words. Something he always told Aela after kissing her nose. Whenever she'd been scared of the dark, skinned her knees, or cried when he was leaving he would kiss her nose and say those words.

 _It's going to be okay, Aela. No matter what happens, Mommy and I love you. We'll always be here for you…We'll get through this, together._

It was as if he was here again. As if he was speaking through Aela. Sara could almost imagine it. Him right behind her, wrapping his long arms around both her and Aela in a family hug and whispering those words to them both.

She closed her eyes, hugged Aela close, and allowed herself to indulge in the fantasy for several precious moments.

Finally she turned with a sad smile, dispelling the illusion that he was with them. Her eyes moved to the view of the Milky Way laid out before her. She then said to herself, "I'll never forget you." She then turned and walked in the direction of the Hyperion, a single whisper being left behind her.

"Goodbye."

* * *

 _Three Months Later_

"Wake up, Commander."

* * *

 **Well, there it is. Can't even really connect where I got this idea from. I'm playing as a male Ryder, and still haven't finished the game. Guess I decided to connect the heroes from different storylines. As for Aela, a pet peeve of mine is that to the best of my knowledge no stories have Shepard have children before the Reaper stuff. I know he's like 29 in the first game and not at an age where it's expected, but it certainly isn't farfetched or unbelievable either. I think it would have been a really good way to flesh out his character and add a bit more of a unique flair to him in a couple stories. I'm particularly fond of the thought of him being a single father, and the challenges of balancing the line between father and galactic hero. Also giving the struggle against the Reapers a more personal inflection for him. While that's been included in a number of my planned but never written stories, I decided to throw it out here. I also thought it really added to the drama of this scenario, Shepard losing his family during his time dead. I might write a follow up chapter of Shepard's reaction to the news after being revived if some readers want it.**

 **Other thoughts. I don't much like default Shepard, so this Shepard is closer to a two meter tall male version of the female Shepard in looks. His history is a combination of Earthborn and Colonist, and he had the War Hero career. He's also a vanguard. Sara is a Sentinel, and is obviously an explorer type with a more cautious streak when it comes to combat.**

 **I hope you guys enjoyed this story, despite my acknowledging it basically as a worst case scenario for Shepard now that I reread it. I really feel sorry for him here. Sorry, Shep. My bad.**


End file.
